Sunday, 18 May 2014

Three Things I Rarely Said Before I Had Kids, Which I Now Say Every Day

Sometimes, when I listen to myself talking to my kids, I sound like a broken record. But what's funny is that most of the things I say, I would never (okay, rarely) say to an adult.

So today, I give you three things that I never said before I had kids, which I now say ALL THE TIME.

1. Don't put that in your mouth. This oral fixation long does it last, anyway? Because I still have to remind my four-year-old not to suck on her (newly manicured) fingers. And my not-yet-two-year-old—well, there's no telling what she'll decide looks interesting/tasty on any given day. She's been known to eat crayons, stickers...pretty much anything she can fit in her mouth. Yesterday, she was sucking on the lid of lip balm like it was a lollipop. Good parent that I am, I removed it before she swallowed it. Much to her dismay.

2. Go to sleep. Adults usually leave each other's sleeping habits alone, but I have spent more time trying to get my kids to go to sleep than doing any other parental task. And my kids are GOOD sleepers! I hear from other mothers that bedtime can be a battle of epic proportions, requiring boardroom-sharp negotiation skills and bribery that rivals the corruptness of world politics. Or, you know, just waiting until they pass out.

3. Why would you do that? I'm very curious about the thought process that my kids must go through, because often, their actions mystify me. For example, why is it that my kids' first reaction to something new is usually, Can I break it? What makes one decide to dump out every Q-tip or Kleenex from the box and then put them back in, one by one? When one has a napkin close at hand, why would one wipe one's sticky, chocolatey hands on one's clean clothes? What motivates one to think, I wonder what ketchup feels like in my hair? If you find out, please let me know.

What do YOU say to your kids that you never thought you'd say? I'd be interested to hear your comments on this one.

No comments: